Sir Gerry Robinson meets two couples facing tough decisions over what will happen to their children in the event of their deaths.
Sarah who has two daughters by different fathers. Sarah has recently married and wants her new husband Jason to take care of both girls if she dies but is really concerned that the father,Matthew,of her first daughter will want to separate the sisters as he will insist on custody if such an tragedy occurs.
The second family has Ian who is a Doctor and part time polar adventurer, and together with his wife Becky have been unable to write their wills because they can not agree on whose parents would be best to bring up their three young daughters. They both believe their own parents should take on the role,but the two sets of grandparents are very different and Becky can only consider her Mother.
Sarah clearly has issues with her ex partner and is determined to receives guarantees and really wants her own way. Jason is clearly in a difficult position and finds the whole subject very emotional. Matthew currently sees his daughter every other Saturday and would like to see her more.
Sarah and Jason meet the specialist lawyer Sue Medder who explains that following Sarah's death her ex partner and father of her eldest daughter has the rights, in law,to gain custody. This seems unfair in her eyes but one suspects she has come to this position without considering how her daughter and ex partner feel.
Jason clearly understands the situation and is happy to take on the responsibility of both children with involvement from Matthew. Sue Medder makes it clear that even if Sarah states in her Will that she wants Jason to have guardianship of her daughter, Matthew has every right to challenge and would probably win as he is the paternal father. The couple are asked to go away and consider their position.
Becky and Ian review both their positions. Becky has her mind made up and only wants her Mother and her partner Tony to move into the £1 Million house and take care of the children;whereas Ian is looking for a compromise and angling for shared guardianship between borh sets of Grandparents.
The meeting with Sir Gerry Robinson and Sue Medder opens up the discussion and suggests that joint guardianship is available but not always practical. Sir gerry also points out that both sets of Grandparents don't have much in common and are unlikely to agree in a number of areas which would suggest further conflict.
Becky and Ian call a family dinner to bring all interested parties together to allow discussion and throw open all the options. The dinner highlighted the lack of genuine friendship between both Grandparents but they all agreed in the importance of finding a decision to benefit the children. The key argument against joint guardianship was the daily issues of bringing up the children. Ian was keen to point out that he would really want to offer quite a strong "Letter of Wishes" to encourage a life of adventure for his daughters.
The dinner between Sarah, Jason, Matthew and his new partner Nicole was a little tense at first but saw Matthew being honest yet genuinely practical about the issue. It was clear that the break up in the earlier relationship was not good and it emerged that Matthew does have certain anger issues. Jason and Matthew share a common desire that the girls would need to stay together which was supported by Nicole but seemed to take Sarah by surprise.
I felt that Matthew was certainly trying to repair any earlier issues and expressed a real desire to see more of his daughter and be happy to work with Sarah and Jason.
The decision day loomed for both couples as they planned their trip back to London to speak to Sue Medder.
Ian and Becky had reached agreement as Ian had compromised. He shifted his position and agreed to let Becky's Mother become the guardian of the children allowing her and partner Tony to move into the family home. Ian was going to prepare his "Letter of Wishes" which his parents would support as well as supporting the upbringing of the Grandchildren. They signed their Wills.
Sarah and Jason arrived in London reassured by their meeting with Matthew and Nicole. They signed their Wills with the wish that the children stay together. In the event that Jason was to also pass away then the eldest daughter would go to the paternal Father and the youngest to Sarah's sister. It was also agreed that Matthew should gain more access to see his daughter while everyone was alive.
It is clear with all these shows that communication has a positive impact on all family members and lots of issues emerge which effect current lives as well as lives following a death.
Next week the tricky subject of how do you deal with your business when you die.
It should be interesting.
Jason clearly understands the situation and is happy to take on the responsibility of both children with involvement from Matthew. Sue Medder makes it clear that even if Sarah states in her Will that she wants Jason to have guardianship of her daughter, Matthew has every right to challenge and would probably win as he is the paternal father. The couple are asked to go away and consider their position.
Becky and Ian review both their positions. Becky has her mind made up and only wants her Mother and her partner Tony to move into the £1 Million house and take care of the children;whereas Ian is looking for a compromise and angling for shared guardianship between borh sets of Grandparents.
The meeting with Sir Gerry Robinson and Sue Medder opens up the discussion and suggests that joint guardianship is available but not always practical. Sir gerry also points out that both sets of Grandparents don't have much in common and are unlikely to agree in a number of areas which would suggest further conflict.
Becky and Ian call a family dinner to bring all interested parties together to allow discussion and throw open all the options. The dinner highlighted the lack of genuine friendship between both Grandparents but they all agreed in the importance of finding a decision to benefit the children. The key argument against joint guardianship was the daily issues of bringing up the children. Ian was keen to point out that he would really want to offer quite a strong "Letter of Wishes" to encourage a life of adventure for his daughters.
The dinner between Sarah, Jason, Matthew and his new partner Nicole was a little tense at first but saw Matthew being honest yet genuinely practical about the issue. It was clear that the break up in the earlier relationship was not good and it emerged that Matthew does have certain anger issues. Jason and Matthew share a common desire that the girls would need to stay together which was supported by Nicole but seemed to take Sarah by surprise.
I felt that Matthew was certainly trying to repair any earlier issues and expressed a real desire to see more of his daughter and be happy to work with Sarah and Jason.
The decision day loomed for both couples as they planned their trip back to London to speak to Sue Medder.
Ian and Becky had reached agreement as Ian had compromised. He shifted his position and agreed to let Becky's Mother become the guardian of the children allowing her and partner Tony to move into the family home. Ian was going to prepare his "Letter of Wishes" which his parents would support as well as supporting the upbringing of the Grandchildren. They signed their Wills.
Sarah and Jason arrived in London reassured by their meeting with Matthew and Nicole. They signed their Wills with the wish that the children stay together. In the event that Jason was to also pass away then the eldest daughter would go to the paternal Father and the youngest to Sarah's sister. It was also agreed that Matthew should gain more access to see his daughter while everyone was alive.
It is clear with all these shows that communication has a positive impact on all family members and lots of issues emerge which effect current lives as well as lives following a death.
Next week the tricky subject of how do you deal with your business when you die.
It should be interesting.
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